Monday, June 1, 2009
Not Easy Being the Dude
Women have challenges that no self respecting man could cope with. Childbirth? Uh..no Being left to care for a child alone? Some of us could do that. Most men would agree I suppose. Okay the point....Being a guy has challenges that I believe women are not aware of. First, we are supposed to be tough or strong and if we come across that way we are called unemotional and unable to really relate to a woman. Paradoxically, if we should show true emotion, and depth of insecurity then we need to "be a man!" If she's truly afraid we want to protect and reassure. If men truly fear we are supposed to "grow a pair." Is it no wonder why the man is not talking? If a man is being physically abused by a female spouse or lover? He's not talking, first, he thinks, who will believe me and second, can't let the guys know this. How can a man possibly share his most intimate ideas, insecurities and fears if it is met with "oh just be a man!" You see we are trying to be. No we are not all Bob Vila and we all cannot fix things. Some of us are sensitive, nurturing and passionate. Some of us have more "mothering instincts" than women do. What would most women think if a man said "I think I am going to stay home and take care of the children."? It is difficult to communicate hurt, fear and insecurity. Thats not a language most men learn. Furthermore men risk rejection and feel pressure when we make the decision to call a woman for a date, or try to decide where to go out. We often hear, "whatever you decide is fine" not really knowing if that is true or if it is going to be used later as a defense or be labeled as uncaring. Men usually approach women for that first dance, or that first kiss. We are constantly risking rejection, or worse, being categorized as Neanderthals that are only out to satisfy our libido. Believe it or not most men want to satisfy their woman's libido too. So when you hear your female friends say "you men have it easy" most of us would say "your probably right" but at times its not so easy being the guy.
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Well I have brothers so I understand this one. I try to look at the whole picture but sometimes have to say what were you thinking. But I have sons and I have seen them do that I am a strong guy thing which is alright. But I have cried right along with them over loosing a girlfriend. I am glad when there is Bob Vila around but sometimes I prefer to fix it myself rather than pay for it. I know a lot of guys that are better mothers than their wives. But I think all that matters is that you are good, kind, thoughtful of others, and take time out of your day to smile and pass it on. And as far as libido goes thats a story for another day. LOL
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