Love is a Many Splintered Thing

Ah love and romance! One day your staying up all night talking on the phone and cannot get enough of each other's company and the next your trying to decide if you are really in love or not. It can be an overwhelming high, an emotional thrill ride. Love knows no rationale thought or even behavior at times. It is its own unique set of emotions than can encompass everything from love of your child, which differs from your parents, which differs from your siblings. Then there is the romantic love that feels intoxicating. You fell like your in a whirlwind and this person is the one you have been looking for your entire life. There is a "this is the one!" thinking and happily ever after, a feeling that we can get through anything if we just love each other. Love is so much more. It is staying with that person when they are at their worst. It is making it through the ups and downs, sickness and health and all the other vows that are so meaningful. Most people who marry do not really understand what they are saying to each other when the vows are said. These are not just marriage vows but things couples say to each other during those times of intoxicating love. "I'll never leave you, we will always be together, I will always be faithful to you." These are just some of the things that couples say to each other. These days it behooves a person to step back and let logic take over by thinking to yourself "that sounds good but I am going to give this some time before I jump in with both feet and allow myself to risk it all." Some people toss love out when the excitement is over. Once the intoxication is gone and its just you and that other person, be sure you love and accept THAT person with all their faults, irritating behaviors, and other issues that we all have. The saying goes "I like you because"..."I love you although." For example Adult Children of Alcoholics have the most difficult time with love because they often find themselves unlovable. The reason being is that this is the message they have heard during their entire childhood. Abuse victims are the same way. She (or he) may feel that she is unlovable to treated so badly. Love is an extremely complex and confusing emotion for everyone. For example: "I love her, I'm just not in love with her" is about as complex as it gets. Both statements can be true. To love means to act in a caring, understanding way and be available for that person when help is needed. To be in love means to risk it all, intoxicating or not. Understanding what real love is the key to a long lasting and satisfying relationship whether its friendship or romantic love.